F

Is for F****t.

As with other words of it's ilk, this F-word is rife with controversy. I'm not going to write it because it is offensive to some and I don't see the need to repeatedly type it. Admittedly, my feelings towards it are somewhat ambivalent. When I first came out, I was vehemently opposed to it. I thought that it was a terrible word that had no place in intelligent conversation. Luckily I've only been called it, in malice, once by a homeless man. Due to his situation in life, I didn't really care all that much. I think not having a place to live trumps being called a nasty word.

Lately I have been finding the humor in this word. There is something deliciously naughty about using it among select company. A few weeks ago I called my brother and when he answered I said, "Hey f****t." He feigned insult and I found it to be hilarious. I know there are arguments for and against 'taking back' a word but the people who are argue it are usually insufferable. Without sounding insufferable myself, how do you argue free speech?

As I think about it, my newfound use of this word is related to the self-confidence I have developed in who I am. I've reached a point in my life where my sexual orientation is something so uninteresting that, to me, that word doesn't really have much of an effect. I know other people are offended by and offend with it but I don't think I really care. Granted I haven't been called a f****t recently by anyone who hated gay people but unless there was a fist following its utterance I'm fairly certain I would just let it roll off me. Their bigotry and ignorance is their own thing. They can live their life in some closeted turmoil (which is more than likely the case with though homophobes). I'm perfectly content with my interest in other dudes. If other people have a problem with it, they should stop being such f****ts.