E

E is for Energy

This is gonna be a relatively short post because I really want to get to F. Rather than some long introspective post I kinda want to ask a question that probably doesn't have an answer. Why is it that you can feel totally wiped out and then a song comes on that refills your battery stores? It's fairly well known that I dig dance/electronic music. My roommates used to marvel and make fun of how I would do homework to the likes of Madonna, the Scissor Sisters and assorted remixes. Rather than distract me, the heavy up tempo beat kept me from falling asleep and drooling on my book. Full disclosure, I'm listening to Kylie Minogue's newest album as I type this.

To me, music must perform a function. If I feel like bouncing around having a good time, I listen to the artists listed above. If I'm feeling down and sorry for myself, it's Bright Eyes, The XX, and Elliot Smith. When I'm feeling at peace with life and the world there is only one band that works: Deathcab for Cutie. I find it hard to understand people who only subscribe to one genre of music. Are they really that flat? Within a single day I can find reasons to crisscross genres repeatedly. You should all go check out this website Stereo Mood, it creates playlists based on your mood. Pretty darn nifty.

Shit, what am I gonna use for M now?

D

D is for Despicable.

Last night I saw Despicable Me with a friend of mine. It was pretty cute and there were some hilarious scenes. While standing in line waiting to buy my ticket, there were a couple of teenagers who were turned away because they weren't old enough to see Predators without a legal guardian. As I watched them, I was hit with a strong feeling of being present. All at once I was aware that I was 24 years old, living in Nashville, going to graduate school with the intent of becoming a psychologist. Not to sound hyperbolic but it felt as if I was waking up from a coma. I imagine it was a variation to what people describe when they are middle-aged and suddenly questioning where the past 20+ years went.

To be fair, I think this realization was slowly building over the week. I don't know if it is a result of blogging more than usual (re: blogging at all) or becoming reinvigorated with my love of research but I have been feeling calmer and more aware than I have in a long time. Life has a way of dulling our senses. As days go by you start to run on cruise control. It isn't automatically a bad thing, rather a simple fact of life that we put on the blinders to our surroundings.

Let's be honest, if memoirists actually chronicled their day to day lives, their works would be as boring as paint drying. The success of this genre is due to their ability to distill those moments that shock us out of cruise control into hilarious and poignant short stories or novels. Maybe my return to blogging is helping me become more conscious of when these "shock" moments happen.

C

C is for Cardio.

So yesterday I tried to blog from my new phone (Evo 4G) but I wasn't able to type in the dialog box after putting in the title. Chalk that up as a 'pro' for the iPhone. Also, I couldn't figure out how to delete the post so my newest post was an ominous 'C'.

I went to the gym for the first time in over a month yesterday and my body was initiating a revolt against exercise within 10 minutes. I hate the first few weeks of starting to work out again. It never is easy and you look like you are about to die while running or ellipticalling(totes a word).

Also, it should be known that I'm a sweater. This poses an issue here in good ole muggy Nashville. I walk outside for more than 5 minutes and I start feeling flop sweat dripping down my neck. So you can imagine the drenching I receive when I get my blood really pumping.

This is all meant to get to the point that beginning a workout regimen sucks. Yay healthy lifestyle.

B

Is for Buffeted.

Last night before I went to bed I thought I would be able to knock out a couple of posts during the day or at least mentally prepare them. My agenda for work consisted of running analyses on some fMRI data for a conference she is attending. Well that wasn't exactly in the cards.

What was supposed to be a relaxing day in front of the computer turned into a mad dash to keep one of our large studies from being shut down by the review board, babysitting a high schooler who is working in our lab, and a few other odd tasks around the office. I'm not the best at handling stress when I'm around other people. I get short with them if I feel they aren't performing to a level I expect from them. The thing is, when stressed out, I expect people to immediately fix whatever is wrong. Hence my getting irritated with anyone I come into contact with. Because of all this, I prefer to excuse myself and deal with whatever it is that needs to get done. Unfortunately today I was required to work with and around other people while as my stress level spiked.

As most people who know me well can attest to, I can't hide my emotions to save my life. My dad can tell within seconds during a phone call if I'm down or particularly excited about something. I'm an open book for better or worse.

After the fires were put out, I went with one of the Seniors in the lab to get a soda and I told her all about my stress response and how I tried to keep it inside so as to not blow up at anyone today. I was feeling pretty good since I felt I had actually handled today better than I normally would. To confirm my internal observations of budding maturity I asked her if she thought I was at all short today. She responded, "Oh don't worry Joel. You weren't like a total asshole or anything."

Awesome. Baby steps, I guess.

A

Is for Appetite.

It has been quite a long time since I have posted on my blog. After some highly aggressive campaigning by G, I decided to cave in and try this July Blogging challenge. I make no guarantees that I will complete it but I will give it a good effort. Maybe it was the nostalgia brought up by reading G's first two posts of the challenge or Kylie's new CD, Aphrodite, but I'm feeling the itch to write and attempt to be clever. Be warned, I'm shooting from the hip with this first post so if it meanders and has no point, get over it.

A is for appetite. When I look back on my 24 years of life I see great times with family, friends and all that good stuff. I also see epic moments of my insatiable appetites. Junior year when I finally got my license and a car, my HS made the school a closed campus. Rather than being able to leave for lunch to a fastfood joint, we had to eat in the cafeteria. I got around that injustice by eating lunch in the cafeteria and then, two periods later, going with friends to on of the many burrito shops around my neighborhood. Fast forward to when I was living in Minneapolis last year, I was placed on Domino's MVP list for carrying them through the Great Recession. I'm still waiting for their call to be the Domino's spokesperson. To sum it up, I have been and always will be a fat kid on the inside (and at times a somewhat round kid on the outside). Unless you have been in this position, you really can't understand what it's like to have that appetite inside you. It can seem at times that there is another person inside me who is never satiated. Call It the Id, call It whatever you want. It's there and It wants a late night snack.

How was that for a my first encyclopedia entry?

The Ivory Tower

Hey y'all! Well I finally got around to putting pictures up of the place where I will be working like a mad man. As you can tell I am not a professional photographer by any stretch of the imagination.

This is where my department is. Pretty huh?

This is their version of Library Mall.

Typical pathway on campus. Huge magnolia trees all over. Someone told me that they have one of each tree found in Tennessee.

I can see this clock tower from my office window. Yeah that's right office.

This is their school of engineering. Very imposing.

Not gonna lie, I would prefer a Caribou.

There you have it folks, a little insight into my life here at school.

No Pictures But Funny Stories

So I have totally been procrastinating on taking the pictures but it's because I have been kinda busy with school stuff. Pretty much every day I have been walking to the psych building to work on old research projects and getting started on new ones. It's great to live within walking distance of the campus but I am finding there are some major downsides as well. Well actually there is only one downside. I never thought of myself as a sweaty person, sure I would sweat when working out but who doesn't? Well I have come to find out that humidity and myself do not get along. While everyone around me looks as cool as a cucumber, I look like someone dropped me into a pool. It has gotten so bad that I have to plan around how sweaty I will get. For example, I had to go into the lab today so that I could get some work done. Also while I was there, I had to meet with the academic coordinator to go over my schedule. I knew that I would be a dripping mess once I got to the building; the walk takes about 20 minutes. I left for the lab early enough so that I could sit in my air conditioned office and dry before heading down to my meeting. This is all fine and dandy now since I have an overabundance of time but once school starts? I foresee having half my wardrobe at school for mandatory costume changes.

I have learned all sorts of things since coming to Nashville. It really is a whole other world from what I am used to. People are surprisingly polite and any women over the age of 35 calls sweetie or hun. Another thing that I have learned; Scientology isn't just for the rich and famous. One day when I was walking to school, already fairly sweaty I might add, I was stopped by three people. They were all dressed in business clothes and looked like they were on campus for a meeting. The leader of the group asked me if I knew where the Student Life Center was because they were part of an education conference that was being held there. Now I haven't been on campus long but I have started to learn my way around. I told here that I did and that I would be walking past it on my way so I told them to follow me. The woman and I made awkward conversation while the other two followed in silence. She was asking me if I was a student and what I was studying. I told her that I was actually a grad student, puffing my chest out a little, and that I was in the clinical psych program. After I had said this, the other two started talking quietly to one another while the woman seemed to intentionally ignore them. She asked, "Oh like psychiatry?" I get this a lot, the confusion of psychology and psychiatry, so I told her no actually. As we were nearing the Student Center I asked what school they were with since they were going to an education conference. The woman said oh we are with the Church of Scientology on 8th, you should stop by, bring friends if you want. I kinda tripped over myself at that point and said oh, well, here is the center have a good day. I booked it as fast as I could. I didn't even know they allowed Scientology in the South.